first holidays

october brought halloween and with halloween new challenges. i bought really cute pumpkin costumes online, jack-o-lanterns with little caps with a stem. when they arrived many weeks before halloween the kids were very excited to try them on but it was too hot to keep them on. by the time i took them out again, nearer to halloween, only our daughter was interested. our son kept saying it was too hot. so on the day of the school halloween parade i arrived at school to find the playground jammed with parents and kids in costumes. and there was my partner holding both kids, neither in costume. they were freaked out by all the people in the play area and neither of us could get them to put on their costumes. so we decided it was best just to go home. that night we took them trick or treating down our street. our daughter was okay with wearing the costume but our son still didn’t want to... until he realized there was candy involved! but by that time we were back home.
the kids began speech classes in october too. they had been tested the month before and they were only developmentally behind in speech. they started classes once a week through the school district. we had to drop off and pick them up before they went to preschool.
in november we signed the pre-adoption paperwork. the social worker wanted to get a head start due to the upcoming holiday slowdown. the kids had to live with us as foster children for 6 months before the adoption process could begin. that wouldn’t be until january of 2005, when the court date could be scheduled. i used one of our thanksgiving photos to design our holiday card. i wanted all 4 of us to be in it. i did the same thing again thanksgiving 2005 for our last holiday card. my partner thinks it should just be the kids but i always liked receiving cards that include the entire family, after all, our family isn’t just the kids.
our first christmas together was overwhelming. we weren’t sure what the kids knew about christmas and santa or what their past christmases had been like. we bought a video camera to tape the big day. we went overboard too, much like their first birthday with us. presents spilled over the floor. we wrapped so many that by the end we just decided to leave some unwrapped. we used different paper for each of them and they took turns opening. but much like their birthday, they would get very absorbed in one present and not want to open any more. halfway through our son would almost ignore clothes that he got in favor of more fun stuff.
i often wonder what it would be like if we got them when they were just babies. how they would be different. they, like so many children, are so resilient, so happy despite what life has dealt them. sure they have their moments, but don’t we all, no matter who raised us or what kind of job they did.