honeymoon is over

during that first summer we would hold the kids in our arms before bed and sing “twinkle, twinkle” to them before putting them down for sleep. we were all adjusting to each other, learning what foods they liked, what their personalities were like. we also had two gentle, medium size dogs that share our home. we knew from the last foster mom that the kids were very nervous of any dogs so we took it very slow. the dogs stayed in their pen and we let the kids control the situation, it took time but eventually they overcame their fear, with us nearby, and began to get closer to the pen. once when we were all at the grocery together we each had a kid in the shopping cart. our daughter kept asking where her brother was and our son would cry if he didn’t see his sister. we began 3 minute time outs for unacceptable behavior. at first there were so many it seemed like they weren’t working but after a while they began to understand, at least our daughter did. our son was slower to realize. our daughter didn’t like to hear “no” and our son would get upset over what seemed to be small things to us but were monumental to him, like forgetting his hat or wanting to change or even check his diaper. when we said “i love you” to our daughter she would reply by saying “i love me.”
our son’s hair was growing longer that summer and we here hesitant about cutting it. we wanted to do it ourselves and heard from the last family that he did not like having his hair cut. we tag teamed and kept lots of m&ms handy the first time. after the first few weeks we saw the kids begin to test their boundaries, acting up and having tantrums. they couldn’t communicate being tired or hungry so we had to go on our best guess. we were used to eating at restaurants several times a week so we tried to still frequent them. it took the kids lots of time outs outside of the restaurants to modify their behavior. and we learned to modify ours as well… we would order for them immediately and keep them busy until their food arrived. we had to limit them to one crayon each or we’d be picking them up off the floor for the entire meal and balloons were out of the question, they would both fight over them and our son didn’t like them tied around his wrist but would cry when he let them go and they flew away. we learned to keep a united front and have mostly always agreed on our expectations and parental styles. both kids would cry for attention or because it seemed to work for their sibling. we realized quickly that it was best to keep to the same routine and schedule. we also enjoyed hearing the kids laugh and giggle together, they are so close, which is why they can be best friends but also get on each other’s nerves. our daughter would make us all laugh, both accidentally and on purpose. she was always the one whose sippy cup would squirt her in the face. we saw their verbal skills greatly improve that summer as well. they had a special language that twins have that we could only understand a word or two of. when our daughter began to comprehend more I would have her translate to her brother. I could make out only a few words.
one of the first things we wanted to instill was manners. we were both been brought up in families where they were important. our son had a terrible habit of burping loudly and seemed to be very proud of it. he probably learned the behavior at one of their foster homes. it took a good six weeks before we could get him to say excuse me. we learned that if we ignored his behavior and showed lots of praise when he did excuse himself that he eventually said it on his own.